Suck ‘Em Up! Pumpkin Spice Wine-O

Continuing on our quest to find the perfect pumpkin beverage, I picked up a bottle of Hallow by the Illinois River Winery.
HallowSee?  Look at that fun bottle.  And it was on sale for $10.99 (usually $14), practically begging me to buy it.  Here’s what the Illinois River Winery had to say about Hallow:

“A member of our Wine 4 All Seasons
Name has changed to Hallow.  Same great wine.
Honey Crisp Apple/pumpkin wine spiced with cinnamon, nutmeg, clove and fairy dust.
Yes, we said fairy dust.  Not for sale to Transylvania during the full moon….Perfect with snack foods. You’ll be the hit of the party!”

Maybe it was the fairy dust farts I tasted, because this was a giant NO for me.

Here’s the one and only customer comment on the website:

Positive Rating Positive Rating Positive Rating Positive Rating Positive Rating
Highly recommended!!!
From Anonymous of McHenry, Illinois on 9/12/2014.
This was the first wine I have tried from Illinois River Winery and it is delicious. I am looking forward to trying other wines from there.

I’m going to assume it’s the first wine Anonymous has ever tasted, because what came out of my super cute Halloween-y bottle was glorified apple juice.  There was almost enough spice to call it apple cider, but we’re talking the cheap apple cider you get in the big plastic jugs.

Now, I’m pretty sure you’re probably thinking, “This is just a matter of taste.  Maybe it wasn’t for you.”  That’s true, because I asked many people, customers and employees alike, whether Hallow was a good choice, and they all swore how good it is.  But here’s how I know my opinion is right: The head of the wine department where I bought Hallow saw me a week later and asked what I thought.  I apologized and tactfully told her I didn’t like it.  To my surprise, she heaved a huge sigh of relief and said, “Oh yeah, it’s bad.  It’s really terrible.  You have my respect now.”
pat yourself on shoulder

Gallery | This entry was posted in FOOD and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.