Cranberry Sauce Scramberry Sauce

no.

This Thanksgiving I put my foot down.  Both of them.  Yes, I worked Thanksgiving.  No, I didn’t feel like cooking, but by golly, I refused to eat cranberry sauce out of a can.  Let’s just be honest and call it cranberry jello.  It’s jello.

You might be thinking, “Why didn’t you purchase fresh made cranberry sauce available  in your grocery store’s deli for $4.99/pound?”  Trust me, that was my plan — until I asked for a sample.  That sample gave me diabetes.  Must we add pounds of sugar to everything?

No!  2014 was the year I was going to make my own cranberry sauce!!!

Beyonce fierce

Admittedly, I made two batches – both winners in my book, but one will not be made again due to popular opinion in the peanut gallery.  Both batches were super easy and each took under five minutes to make.

Batch #1:
– 1 lb of cranberries
– 1 grapefruit
– 1/2 cup coconut sugar

I threw the cranberries into a pot on high heat.  While attempting to continue stirring the cranberries with my right hand, I managed to peel the grapefruit with my left.  I threw the entire [peeled] grapefruit in my little Farberware 17 piece Rocket Blender (purchased at Walmart Express under the Chicago Brown line stop for $20).  That little Rocket Blender tore up that poor little grapefruit to the point I was actually impressed.  Who needs to spend $600 on a Vitamix??? Oh no, the cranberries have been sitting!  I ran back to the stove, stirring faster in attempt to make up for the minute of my neglection, and dumped in the freshly pulverized grapefruit juice.  It came to a beautiful boil; I added the sugar, and continued stirring while it thickened.

Eat your heart out Pinterest.  I successfully made cranberry sauce.

I was also the only one who enjoyed it.  Everyone else was a giant weenie towards the grapefruit.

Batch #2:
– 1 lb. cranberries
– 1 orange

Repeat above process, only this time using an orange.  No sugar needed, but if you added the half cup of coconut sugar, I wouldn’t judge you.  And just to reiterate, this took me UNDER 5 MINUTES.

I tell you all this, because this week marks the beginning of the Holiday Party Marathon.  You’ll have a work party, kids’ school party, friends party, family, neighbors…until you’re ready to quit.  So if you’re needing something easy that will give you a pat on the back, (“Ooooooh!  You made this from scratch???”) volunteer to bring the cranberry sauce!  And just say No to cranberry jello.

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