2015 in Hindsight

If you’re reading this blog – thank you – you’re aware I only wrote 13 times all year.  That’s 13 posts in 365 days.  Pathetic, I know.  What happened this year to make me give up on my catharsis?  The truth is, everything and nothing happened this year.  It was busy, but boring.  I was in survival mode, pushing through, persevering, making strides to succeed in life.  In short, this year was my Order of the Phoenix.
Nothing really exciting happened, except big twists came out of nowhere; it was angsty, yet necessary to the plot of my life.  So as I sit here, sipping on my Pineapple Passion Buzzball, let me tell you all about the nothing that happened in 2015.

The biggest, most positive change for me was switching stores earlier in March.  As sucky as retail jobs can be, I really love my store and love my coworkers.  I cherish this reality, and suck up how terrible retail can be due to how wonderful they make the work day.

Another positive, yet sad moment this year was quitting my improv group.  This big step of saying, “I’m out,” which happened in July (the month of my last blog post), came from the realization that improv groups come and go.  There’s no sense in making a square peg fit into a round hole.  The sadness stems from the fact that we DID put on a great show.  (No, I’m serious; we were good.)  But the reality is when you’re not friends and self-directing a group of six, there has to be consistent respect.  I clung so tightly to this group thinking, “What else do I have?  No other group wants me!”  Hogwash.  I chose to respect myself and step away.

About this same time, I learned to stick up for myself all over the place.  That included going off on a male coworker for being rude and disrespectful.  The irony?  I got written up for being rude and disrespectful.  Feminism, am I right?

This summer I took a break from The Second City – Chicago. Whaaaaaaat??? I moved here specifically for this wonderful place!  When you’re more funny at work than at a comedy school, that’s a problem.  Earlier this year I was filled with such self-doubt, wondering if choices I made on stage were good enough, consistently second guessing myself — and I am NOT that type of person on the usual.  Who had I become?  Helloooo…improv is making stuff up- using your imagination.  If it’s not fun, then what’s the point?  Seriously, earlier this year, my coworkers and even customers witnessed some of my best material.  Free show?  You’re welcome!

My decision to take a break turned out to be perfect because in August The Second City burned down.  That same week a dramatic, contemporary theatre (the complete opposite of comedy) invited me to audition for a an advanced class.  I auditioned, got it, and it changed me.  I won’t get into the complete theatre nerdity of how amazing this class was, but I believe the principle is applicable to anyone – when in a rut, do something completely opposite and out of the ordinary.

Fast forward to October, I receive an email from Second City, asking if I would like to intern.  Yes!  Mind you, I applied for this internship consistently for over two years.  Now, how would this work with a full time job?  Turns out, thanks to the fire, they need people to intern and are willing to work with my schedule. Whaaaat?  I’ll take it!  The following week I re-auditioned to continue with my SC training, and got in.  Whaaaat?  Incredible.  Am I working 7 days a week until this internship is finished?  Yes.  Is it worth it?  Yes.

As you can see, 2015 was a matter of getting the ducks in a row.  Interesting plot twists occurred, but I can’t help but be excited and anticipate what’s around the corner in 2016.  Surely 2016 is destined to be my Half-Blood Prince.

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