New Year, New You!

If today is any indication of how 2016 will be, I am worried.  I feel mentally, emotionally, and physically drained from the questions today.
My favorite question: “Do you have a hair oil without oil in it?
The main problem I had with 90% of the customers today is that they had issues projecting their voices.  Imagine a three year old girl whispering, “Excuse me,” and I was supposed to magically hear that over Taylor Swift playing on full blast overhead.  How can I help you if I can’t hear you?

Let’s see; there was also the grown man who threatened to empty his sinuses on the floor if I didn’t run and grab him a tissue.  “We have a bathroom, sir.”

The half-eaten cookie I found strategically placed behind the perfectly faced ointments was (is) a mystery for Jessica Fletcher.
This is why I am puzzled: I did orders and thoroughly faced the department at 5pm; the cookie was not there.  At 6:30pm, I was doing one last face when I found the cookie.  Usually when one finds hidden discrepancies, everything has been shoved out of the way and laying flat on the shelf.  Not the case tonight!  Everything remained beautifully faced.

Instacart, bless their hearts, gets on my last nerve.  (Not everyone – there are some Instacart shoppers who are out of control amazing & on top of their game.)  The majority of shoppers, however, come to me needing help with common sense or reading skills.  How did you get hired?  I do Instacart myself in my “spare time” for extra cash and know you had to have a phone interview, a background check, an in person interview, and a training.  You really have no idea that an apple would be in the produce department?  The possibility that sliced meat might be in the deli blows your mind?  Get it together, Instacart; I have a ton of work to do – unless you want to pay me for doing your orders for you, because that’s what I’m doing.

Lastly, my mind reading game was not on point today.  A lot of people came in looking for things oh, about yea-big, in a pink bottle, fizzy, good for you, on Dr. Oz, you-know-what-i-mean, kind of like bread but not, in a green bottle, it’s $39.99, featured on Shark Tank, gives you energy, etc etc etc…
Some days, I am really good at figuring it out to the point I impress myself.  Today was not that day.

New theory: maybe we’re going to need a transitional week to shake off the weird 2015 juju before getting into the 2016 groove.  Yes!  I choose to accept this new positive outlook, because I declare this year is going to be an amazing success.  So get it out now, people!  Because it’s time to move on!

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